How We Stay Safe at Church

Safe Congregation Policy

1. Introduction

Calvary Episcopal Church (“Calvary”) is a religious and spiritual community grounded in love, integrity, mutual respect, and a commitment to enhancing the spiritual growth of all members, friends, and visitors. Spiritual growth requires a safe and welcoming space where we can allow ourselves to be emotionally open and vulnerable. Calvary considers creating this kind of safe and welcoming space to be a religious and moral obligation grounded in our Episcopal Baptismal Covenant. This Policy is intended to provide a framework for furthering these commitments.

2. Values and expectations

Members and friends aspire to be in right relationship with each other and with Calvary. 

They are expected to:

• Respect the inherent worth and dignity of all; 
• Treat each other with kindness and mutual respect;
• Take seriously the spiritual, emotional and physical well-being of all; 
• Be attentive to and considerate of each other’s personal boundaries; 
• Ground personal interactions in integrity and mutual consent; 
• Uphold the Baptismal Covenant, especially in those promises to seek and serve Christ in all persons, to love one’s neighbor as oneself, and to respect the dignity of every human being. 

We are a small and highly interconnected community. What happens to one of us, to some extent, affects all of us. Damage to one person can be a threat to the sense of safety and trust for the entire group or for part of the group.

3. Areas of specific concern

The behaviors discussed in this section are forms of interpersonal violence and often constitute abuses of power. They inherently violate another person’s dignity and are inappropriate in all circumstances.

Power is created and expressed in complex networks of human relationships. Power imbalances may be created in many ways. People in positions of leadership and responsibility have certain kinds of power by virtue of their status. Power imbalances can also be created by social and cultural realities such as racial, gender, or age differences, by cultural norms, or by physical characteristics such as size. In some cases, power or privilege may be assumed, implied, or inferred based on length of membership or perceived wealth or other status. Members and friends are encouraged to be aware of these power imbalances in their interactions and relationships. We are all God’s children without preference or privilege.

On occasion, misunderstandings and disagreements occur within the body of the Church. And on occasion, trespasses occur – most often unintentionally. We call to attention the words of the Lord’s Prayer: “…forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We uphold the importance of communicating directly with persons involved; otherwise, they may not be aware of the trespass, misunderstanding, or disagreement. Without this knowledge, no one can engage in a process of listening towards understanding and reconciliation. Just as we are responsible for the words we say, we are also responsible for what we do not say. If you need support and help engaging in a difficult conversation, the rector, lay leaders, and others are available to provide that support.

Definitions

These definitions are intended to be comprehensive but not necessarily all-inclusive; other forms of behavior not specifically identified here may also be inappropriate.

A. Harassment, including sexual harassment
Harassment can include offensive, belittling, threatening, abusive, hostile or otherwise unwelcome conduct or language directed at another person, whether made directly to that person, to third parties, online/electronically, or through social media. This includes verbal, emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual harassment. Behavior that is considered harassment is that which is not respectful of another person or their dignity, identity, or person. Examples of this include name-calling, refusing to use a person’s name, being disingenuous or distorting information, lying, intentional gossiping, and triangulating. Harassment can occur between members of the church, between staff and members, between clergy and members, and between clergy and staff. Regardless of those involved, chronic and uncorrected behavior that is deemed harassment will not be tolerated in the community of the church.

Sexual harassment includes unwanted touching; repeated sexual comments or questions; the use of crude, sexually-oriented language which is offensive, demeaning, and inappropriate; or any other behavior in which someone uses sexual language, behavior, or threats in unwanted and intimidating ways. Unwelcome physical touch with sexual overtones would be considered sexual harassment. There are also less clear situations of sexual harassment, sometimes caused by miscommunication rather than misconduct, but unacceptable whether intentional or not, and therefore require response under this policy.

B. Disruptive behavior
A central value of our Episcopal tradition is openness to diversity, theological and otherwise. Calvary strives to maintain a safe and welcoming atmosphere where such diversity can exist. Disruptive behavior interferes with this aspiration and is inappropriate. Disruptive behavior includes disruption of worship, business meetings of the church, fellowship activities; the use or threatened use of legal action or reporting; the use or threatened use of physical violence and bullying; or threats or implied threats to the safety of members, friends or visitors, and clergy. Disruptive behaviors include those which occur in-person, online via email or social media, through second and third parties, intentional gossip, and are frivolous and/or repeated.

C. Discriminatory treatment
Equality and non-discrimination are core principles of The Episcopal Church, the Diocese of Virginia, and Calvary Church. Unequal or discriminatory treatment of members, clergy, friends, or visitors on the basis of, among other factors, their religious or philosophical belief, political affiliation, nationality, race, age, gender or gender identity, sexual orientation, or marital status, is inappropriate and constitutes a violation of this code of conduct.

4. Special duty of care

All members of Calvary have a duty to care for children and members and friends with disabilities or special needs. However, some members, because of their role, may have a heightened duty of care regarding minor children or members with disabilities or special needs. A violation of the duty of care that constitutes an offense against the criminal code will be reported to the authorities. It will also constitute cause for termination of membership. 
 

5. Special provisions for leaders and other members in positions of responsibility

Leaders and other members in positions of responsibility include elected vestry members, clergy, chairs of committees, trustees, and other lay leaders so designated by the vestry and clergy. These persons constitute the public face of Calvary and have heightened responsibilities. They should therefore strive at all times: 

• To model our Baptismal Covenant, scripture, and the canons of the Episcopal Church, and the values named in this Policy; 
• To actively create and maintain a safe and welcoming environment for all members, friends, and visitors, especially for the more vulnerable by virtue of age, psychological condition, personal history, physical challenges, or other circumstances; 
• To refrain from racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and any other attitudes of privilege on whatever grounds, and to be willing to accept and act on appropriate feedback;
• To resolve issues between themselves in an open, honest and direct manner, giving compassionate but honest feedback when necessary; and
• To protect the confidentiality of sensitive or personal information acquired in the course of their official duties as outlined in the Canons for Vestries, the Canons for Parishes, and Safe Church Practices, unless given explicit permission by the person about whom the information relates or where required by law to disclose such information.
• People in leadership positions in the church have a canonical duty to report to the rector any suspected sexual misconduct between adults and adults or between adults and children. Even when there is uncertainty, leadership is bound and obligated to report what they have personally observed, heard, or about which they are concerned.  
  • The rector and clergy are obligated by canon to seek the support of the diocese and follow reporting procedures;
  • If the misconduct is by the rector, reporting is to the wardens;
  • If the misconduct is by a clergy person other than the rector, reporting is to the rector

By accepting their role, leaders and other members in positions of responsibility acknowledge that they understand and agree to these special responsibilities.

Note: This policy is adapted for use by Calvary Episcopal Church from the source material shared by The Rev. Derek Suchard of The Netherlands Unitarian Universalist Fellowship (NUUF) on March 3, 2024.   

How We Stay Safe in Virginia

Please read the policies from the Diocese of Virginia Here.